VULNERABILITY WITH GOD

*Playing With you Lord by Dr Paul Eneche*

Hi darlings,

Here are the stories of 5 ladies sharing how being vulnerable with God has changed their lives. I pray it blesses you❤❤

● Folakemi Ajayi

Hello everyone,

Knowing I was that one sheep God ran after and wooed for so long made me make it a constant thing to remind myself of how much he loves me.  Also, Abba in every possible way expresses how much he loves me by constantly reaffirming me and showing his love in actions. As an ex-hard girl who had a rigid way of expressing emotions, it's amazing to see how much God has done with me and is still doing with me.

I was someone who saw a problem with being vulnerable with people; In fact, I saw crying as a weakness. I am the only girl child in my family as well as the most independent child. I used to feel there were uncountable things wrong with me. The emotional part of me made me have issues with almost all the relationships I had before I encountered Christ. I had too many walls around me, receiving the life of Christ broke every walls I built around me for years - these walls literally tumbled down.

Being vulnerable with Abba has helped me be vulnerable people, properly express my feelings, not see tears as a form of weakness. I now know how to act around people when they are excited/happy or sad. Before, I would just stare at them or laugh unreasonably because my emotions were numb and I just couldn't find the right way to express myself and share in their pain. Being someone who likes to bottle things up in my mind, he has helped me communicate my feelings to people at least to an extent (I'm still a work in progress). 

Whenever I have issues with people, I talk to him about it, he knows how best I feel even when I don't know how I feel. There was this one time I was angry but to me, the only way I could express myself was that I was sad; so he asked me "Folakemi, why are you angry?". I said to him "I'm not angry, I'm just sad "I think you should have just left me alone in the first place" (It was about a matter he had to make me revisit, it hurts me a lot when I'm reminded about it). He went further and said "But you know I've got your back, don't you?". Later that day, I felt I needed to talk to him about it in full; I had only said a few words when I started to cry and rant at the same time🤦🏾‍♀️😂

Truth is, being vulnerable with God has made me a sane person in this insane world. I'm so grateful that I can be my real self with him without being judged.

●Obadare Funmibi

My name is Obadare Funmibi

I'm a student

I'd like to give a background story...

First, I'd like to say vulnerability does not come easy for me. The kind of environment I was brought up in sort of contributed to this.I could have a million and one things going on with me but I'd be quiet about it and deal with it alone, this was burdensome. It was really hard, I grew up crying a lot, I mean a lot. Also, I'm an independent person, I try to do things myself and solve my problems alone.

So, when I came to Christ this affected my relationship with God.

A lot of times, instead of turning to God, I'd try to do stuffs myself and when I needed something, I won't ask because I felt I was always asking and probably disturbing God (this was because my prayer time was always full of petitions, asking and asking. Thank God for light)

Last year, things changed. I was involved in a number of things that I knew I couldn't do by myself. I'd have active conversations with God while crying, it was strange at first but now it's a thing. My journal is full of my journey of vulnerability, I go back there when I feel down and I'm reminded that God is faithful.

- Vulnerability with God has made my walk better with Him, way better.

- It has helped me be better in my relationship with people, I'm still learning. When I'm finding it difficult loving or accommodating someone, I go to God and cry for help

- It has helped me have the sweetest conversations ever (which is relieving). I remember one time I gisted God about a guy I was beginning to like. He was even the one that initiated the conversation, it was too sweet

- It has made me see clearly. Being open and broken has made it easy to see and hear what God is saying per time and this has helped me so much

- It has made me open with people, I'm learning to love like Christ

- I'm constantly reminded of the goodness of God

- When I don't feel like doing something I should do, I tell him and ask for help

All in all, vulnerability with God has made living in this world easier for me

●Shoorefunmi Tomomewo

Hi, my name is Shoorefunmi Tomomewo,

I've had a couple of experiences but this is the most recent one.

I'm a medical student and I had a couple of tests and exams last December. I hadn't prepared for about two of them, I had a crazy schedule and was struggling with balancing everything. Whenever I find myself in such a situation, I find a way to squeeze in my regular routine of 10 minutes of prayer time and bible study. This time, I decided to let go of everything, I decided to let go and let God. I refused to have a strict pattern with God, I decided to go with the flow. I couldn't even recall what I had read in preparation for the exams. I still decided to worship God and stay in his presence, I didn't even pray about the exams. When i got to the exam hall, I refused to believe the questions were meant for me. Lol. 

I just told God, "You are all that matters to me, I choose to rest in the warm embrace of your arms". I did this even when I felt like I had failed that exam.

When the results came out, about 50% of the class passed; I passed that exam despite not writing anything. After this, I decided that I'll never be too uptight in his presence. I've decided to break down completely if I have to, I've decided to let go and lose myself in his presence; I've realized that if I didn't, I'd be deceiving myself and holding on to "faux" rest.

●Ezebuiro Nancy Chioma

Hi. I’m Ezebuiro Nancy Chioma. I think I’d like to go by my other name, Chizurumoke. Lol. 

I’ve had a lot of experiences in my walk with God. However, I think that this one is a major highlight. For me, this was my turning point.

I was 15 and I had just graduated from high school. I wasn’t necessarily a bad child or teenager but I had a pretty messy past. All I wanted was to gain admission into the university, University of Nigeria, Nsukka to study Medicine and Surgery.

Before then, I was fully aware of the importance of going to church and worshipping God. I even started speaking in tongues, but... I hadn’t come to the realization that there was something deeper and greater.

When my efforts to get into university didn’t bring forth the results that I desired, one of my closest friends told me about Educational Advancement Centre in Ibadan. Long story short, I got into EAC on the 14th of October, 2015. That’s where the journey started.

Before getting to EAC, I had a lot of “baggage”. I was dealing with a TERRIBLE temper and anger management issues. I also almost had a drinking problem because I resorted to alcohol to forget about my “problems”. I was struggling in school and I didn’t even know what I was doing. I don’t even think that I can talk about some of the things that I used to do.  I had a whole lot going on at once and everything was far fetched.

Back then, devotion was compulsory for Christians in the morning and at night. In school, we had fellowship, P.U.S.H (Pray Until Something Happens), Christ Heritage and the likes. I couldn’t possibly “run” away from being in God’s presence.

The journey started in one day. I remember being “forced” to attend P.U.S.H after dodging it severally and I completely blown away by Emmanuel and Jasper - the guys that were in charge of fellowship. I couldn’t understand why and how they were “on fire” for God, It didn’t make sense.

I started attending P.U.S.H because I was pretty inquisitive and I couldn’t get over it. Then I slowly started attending fellowship too. The only thing that I remember was that I met Jasper after fellowship one day and he asked me why I was holding back, why I was scared of letting go. I had no answers. All he did was hold my hand and pray. He prayed that my eyes of understanding may be enlightened and that my heart of stone would be replaced with a fleshy heart.

I broke down into tears and I couldn’t control myself. God kicked down all my walls and the door of my heart was opened. I had to be escorted back to the hostel. I didn’t even realize that I was holding on to the wrong things. I thought that I was fine, but I came to understand that I wasn’t and those things weren’t normal. I was a complete mess and I really couldn’t understand why He wanted me, me of all the people in the world.

Now that I think about it, everything changed from that day. It’s not been the easiest journey so far, but I’m glad that I took that step. All I can say is that Jesus turned and is STILL turning my MESS into a MESSAGE. I’m glad that I haven’t looked back.

I’m grateful that I can share the story of my journey.

●Funmilayo Olaopa

Hi. I am Funmilayo Olaopa.

I've been able to learn how not to bother so much about a situation I do not like and I do not have any control over.

Leaving everything in God's hands and letting him be in charge has saved me a whole lot of energy, time and effort. I've learnt to do everything within my capacity knowing fully well that I'm just human and I can't be perfect on my own.

It has also helped me pour out my heart freely to him, I can have a  conversation with him because I've bared my heart to him and he listens.

I'm able to go before him anytime no matter how bad a person I think I am, my being vulnerable with him just makes things a lot easier for me.

It has helped me in the decisions I take and it has also given me the ability to ask him to take a decision for me and that is because I consider him very accessible every single time.

Omo, God is beautiful💕


How has being vulnerable with God changed your life? Share your story in the comment section to encourage someone too👇🏾👇🏾

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