THE FORGIVENESS PATH

Truth be told, forgiving can be difficult but that's when you try to do it on your own without the help of God. I'm sure you must have been hurt one way or the other, perhaps by parents constant criticism, a friend who betrayed you, that mean colleague at work, your boss who makes you feel less of a person, that person who abused you (emotionally, sexually or physically).

Living with hurt can result into different unpleasant things like resentment, bitterness or even vengeance.

Some of us used to/now have a Doctorate degree in keeping malice and resenting others, this is apparently what comes out of being unforgiving - You become an expert in resenting people.

For so many years, I was angry with God. A lot of things weren't right with my life and my family, so I took years of my life focusing on the things he was yet to do instead of thanking him for the ones he had done. I was angry because I felt my life didn't turn out the way I thought it should. I felt I deserved better, like it was my entitlement. It took me a long time to realize that I was pissed at the only One who can truly help me. I spent a lot of time asking - Why me?

Being a very reserved person, I bottled a lot before my encounter with God, I was such a bitter soul - Lord! I effortlessly kept malice with people and was always unbothered about it. One thing I have noticed about being an unforgiving person is this; You keep over thinking what the person did to you whereas the person who offended you has move on with his/her life while you're there, tying yourself down with the rope of bitterness.

Some of us grew up resenting our parents, i lived almost 2 decades of my life angry with my parents.

The year 2019 was my year of purging. When Abba told me he was going to purge my heart, I thought it was a joke. When he began, I wanted to run away. I had that "who sent me" feeling. I was in 2019 and it was as though he took me back to the late 1990s and early 2000s. He made me realize how much I needed to heal from my hurt. This happened when I was just trying to recover from a situationship I got myself into (More gist on this someday). I must tell you that it wasn't a nice experience having to settle things but did I heal? Oh, I healed perfectly, I healed like nothing ever happened. This person never apologized but it was never about the apology in the first place, it was about my healing. 

Weeks after I had to deal with this, Holy Spirit had to tell me to pray for the person I was in a situationship with. I gave him every reason for me not to do what he asked of me but he didn't let me have it, he kept telling me the same thing. I guess you just can't win the Holy Spirit in an argument. Lol

You know, after I prayed for him, I felt like a burden was lifted off me just like I felt when I had to deal with forgiving someone who was a major factor of my low self-esteem. 

It was a wonderful ride with the God, he made me realize how he had forgiven these people and that I have no right to be angry with those he has forgiven. The Holy Spirit also made me realize that there is him who is willing to heal you and there is you who is willing to be healed. God is ready to heal you but are you ready to be healed? I was glad to be willing to receive healing because this has made me a more better person emotionally.

Staying angry can create an avenue for the devil to manipulate you. After you harbor unforgiveness in your heart, the devil starts to bring in unimaginable thoughts into your head and your heart becomes harder making you become more insensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit. God knows this and this is why it is clearly stated in the scriptures to forgive those who trespass against us not once, not twice.

I love how the The Passion Translation puts Ephesians 4:26-27

But don’t let the passion of your emotions lead you to sin! Don’t let anger control you or be fuel for revenge , not for even a day. Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the Devil, an opportunity to manipulate you!

Ephesians 4:26‭-‬27 TPT

DID YOU KNOW?

Unforgiveness can make you sick, it can affect your physical health. You can suffer from illness like depression, heart diseases. When I read this somewhere, I understood why I was such a depressed human before my encounter with God.

To forgive others, you have to be willing to forgive. Not because of them but because of yourself.

You have to obey what the bible says and whatever instruction the Holy Spirit gives you.

Pray for them. If they knew better, they wouldn't hurt you but because they don't, they need your prayer.

It was months after the Holy Spirit told me to pray for the "situationship guy" that I came across Luke 6:27-29

“But if you will listen, I say to you, love your enemies and do something wonderful for them in return for their hatred.  When someone curses you, bless that person in return. When you are mistreated and harassed by others, accept it as your mission to pray for them.  To those who despise you, continue to serve them and minister to them. If someone takes away your coat, give him as a gift your shirt as well.

Luke 6:27‭-‬29 TPT

(THE HOLY SPIRIT IS AMAZING)

Forgiving others can be done only with the help of God. As humans, we love to count how many times people have hurt us but quick question, do you think God takes count of your wrong? No!

This is why he wants us to forgive others just the same way he forgives us. One thing that helps me go through forgiving others is understanding that God had already forgiven this person, it is in my best interest to forgive him/her too. Also, I go to him when I have issues with my relationship with someone, he has the best solution.

Being a forgiving person doesn't justify what others may have done but instead, it shows how strong you are. 

I've realized that my mind wanders a lot in prayer when someone hurts me, I'm always unable to focus on praying until I settle it in my heart to forgive the person. Never forget that forgiveness isn't about the other person, it's all about you. Not everyone will apologize for hurting you and that's fine. Make it your duty to forgive others when they wrong you so that you may remain sane.

If you're having issues forgiving someone, kindly DM me on Twitter

Let's do this together 🤝🏾

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